


Black and Blue for You

by BirdyBanter



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:07:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26241652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdyBanter/pseuds/BirdyBanter
Summary: Starsky has made a mistake with Meredith and now he has to prove to Hutch his loyalty and what he'll do to protect him.
Relationships: Ken Hutchinson/David Starsky
Kudos: 14





	Black and Blue for You

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy it.

It had only been a few days since Hutch had got out of the hospital after being shot by a teenage girl. He was sore, sad, low, worn out and disillusioned. He’d Just been in for a chat with Dobey and was on the way out of his office. 

‘Hutch?’ Starsky’s voice behind stopped his escape.

‘Oh, hi Starsk.’ Hutch said as he slowly turned.

‘What are you doin’ here? I thought you still had a few more days off.

‘Just popped in for a chat with Dobey.’

‘About what?’

‘Listen Starsky I'm tired I gotta go.’ Hutch said turning to go.

‘Well wait up I’ll give you a lift.’

‘Nah, you got work to do and I just wanna go home and rest.’

‘How’d you get here?’

‘Huggy dropped me off and he’ll be back to pick me up soon okay? So, don’t worry.’ With that Hutch left and Starsky stood there confused before deciding that if he couldn't get an answer from Hutch, there was one person who could give him an answer, so he knocked on Dobey's door.

He knew it was coming but that didn’t mean he had the energy for it, not tonight.

‘Hutch, Hutch…come on I know you’re in there, you’re gonna talk about this whether you like it or not.’

Hutch opened the door to an irate Starsky, who barged straight past him into   
Hutch’s apartment. 

‘What’s goin’ on Hutch, Dobey says you asked for a transfer.’

Hutch didn’t answer he just sat down on the couch wearily, he was in pain and it would be a while before he could have his next dose of medicine. 

‘Is it true?’ Starsky demanded.

‘It's true.’ Hutch confirmed.

‘What? Why didn't you talk it through with me first?’

‘You know why Starsk, it's been coming for a while.’

‘What are you talkin’ about?’ Starsky said sitting on the coffee table so he could face Hutch.

‘Well, for one thing, everything’s changing too fast. I got shot because I couldn't shoot the kid. When did it come to that, deciding between shooting a kid and letting yourself get shot by one?’

‘I know it is hard on you Hutch but that's no reason to just give up.’

‘Isn’t it? How hard does it have to get?’

‘Okay, okay but that only explains the transfer, and yeah I’m sure you’d do a great job in special victims but why didn’t you at least talk to me about it, find out if I wanted to come too. I mean you still wanna be partners, don't you?’

Hutch couldn’t look at him then.

‘Oh, that’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want to be partners any more. Well why the hell not?’

‘You can’t be serious Starsky. When was the last time we really acted like partners, huh?’ You tell me that. I’ve been in the hospital the last week, bust my stitches open savin’ your ass and I got more visits from Huggy, even Dobey and where the hell were you when I got out? You weren’t even grateful…you didn’t even care that I…’

‘We’re partners, no thanks needed…it’s just what we do.’

‘I’m not talkin’ steak dinners or a party, even a bunch of flowers, I’m talkin’ about one word, one word Starsky, that’s all. Not much to ask after discharging myself following major surgery, to come bail you out.’

‘Okay so I’m an ungrateful selfish ass, a terrible friend and a worse partner. I'm sorry okay I mean really, really sorry. But are you really gonna ditch me over this, after all these years?’

‘Starsk, it’s not just what you didn't say, it's how you treated me. I mean you were all over Meredith, like she was all important. I didn't get a look in. Were you even worried, did you care if I was alright? When you were shot, I took care of you, never left your side, I was that scared of losin’ my buddy.’ 

‘Aw Hutch, of course I was worried, I was scared shitless. You didn’t really think I wasn’t. I know I cover it well but I thought you’d know. I had to distract myself couldn’t bear to think what would happen if you weren’t okay. And maybe that wasn’t all of it. Do you know how intimidating it is bein’ your partner sometimes? Compared to the hero with the biggest heart goin’ how would anyone measure up? How many times have you come for me Hutch? After Marcus's goons, at the Italian restaurant and now this straight outta hospital after being shot you still saved me. It’s enough to put anyone to shame. I’m sorry if I haven’t been the partner you deserve but you’re the best partner a guy could wish for. Please never doubt that, okay?’

‘If that’s true and I’m really so important, a good partner then why were you so casual about replacing me? Is it that whoever stands by your side is interchangeable? Anyone will do? One Partner’s as good as the next right?’

‘No Hutch that’s not right. I said some dumb stuff okay, but I didn’t mean it. Just showin’ off, havin’ a laugh. I wouldn’t hurt your feelin’s like that, I thought you knew that.’

‘I don’t know, there was something behind it, I felt it. There’s tension between us, if you’re simply scared to say you don’t want this anymore that’s no reason for us to keep at it.’

‘Yeah okay maybe we need to have this out because things haven’t been right between us for a while. I admit I’ve been pulling back a bit but so have you.’

‘Why? I don’t get it we’ve been disagreeing on things, fighting more, challenging each other and tryna wind each other up. It’s like we don’t want to be partners anymore but can’t find a way to part so we tear each other apart instead.’ 

‘We’ve been through a lot of shit Hutch and we stopped comin’ to each other about how we’re feelin’ and maybe we’re both tired of the job in our different ways and because in a lot a ways when we think of the job we know we’re tied to it through each other and that’s why we lash out at each other. Hell, I dunno, maybe we’re so focused on our partnership we forgot about our friendship. That we like each other. We’ve got caught up on how well we work together we stopped havin’ fun together.’

‘I’m not sure it’s that simple Starsky, I mean do we still like each other? Do you still like me?’

The sincere question delivered by desolate eyes nearly broke him.

‘Of course I still like ya Hutch, Geez, I mean without gettin’ too soapy, I love ya, man. You know that.’

Hutch just shook his head.

‘Don’t you?’ Starsky pushed.

‘We used to look after each other Starsky, but since this happened, ‘Hutch moved the arm in the sling gently, ‘I…I’ve felt so alone. Huggy drove me home, an…I…I’ve been findin’ it hard. It hurts tryna do anything it…’ 

Starsky could tell by his face that Hutch was trying to hold back tears but his eyes were shining anyway.

‘Hutch…’ Starsky wanted to pull Hutch into a big hug but instead he moved to put an arm gently around his friend’s shoulders and held onto his friend’s arm with the other hand squeezing.

‘Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna move in for a bit and take care a ya. I’m gonna spoil ya rotten. And nag you into restin’ and lookin’ after yourself so much, soon you’ll be sick of my ugly mug.’ 

‘I don’t need it so much anymore Starsk, it was just when I first got out.’

‘Yeah and where was I then when my buddy needed me? Not here is where. But you’re still not fully healed and ‘til you are, ya stuck with me no arguments.’

Starsky released his hold. ‘How about a nice early dinner? Something with lots of vegetables just for you?’

‘Starsk…’

‘No Hutch, we’re fixin’ this, no arguments. I’m gonna take care of you, show you I’m still your pal and this partnership is worth savin.’ Coz you’re not interchangeable, not replaceable. And before you say it, coz I know I have in the past, it’s got nothin’ to do with trainin’ anyone up. You’ve taught me as much as I have you. It’s what makes us a great team, the best and we’ll get back to that if it kills me. So sit your butt down and let me fix us a disgustingly healthy meal, okay?’

‘Yeah, okay sure.’ 

Starsky was true to his word and proceeded to pamper and spoil Hutch for the next two weeks. He went a little overboard, helping with everything from cooking and cleaning to running errands. He even went to the garden centre for a couple of new plants. Hutch had thought he was pushing his luck with that one but Starsky went and came back with the right plants without a word of complaint. It was only when Hutch asked a bit too innocently for Starsky to wash his car that Starsky realized he had started to tease him with the requests. 

So when it was time to go back to work, they both felt in a better place. Easy banter as well as gentle automatic caring for one another had returned full force. So Hutch asked Dobey to put his transfer on hold for a while but he did inform Starsky that he still wanted them to discuss a move in their careers, to something that made more of a difference and less likely for them to get shot. He knew full well that next time it could be worse.

They were ready to get back out there after a few more weeks on desk duty. But they soon regretted their eagerness when they were thrown full throttle into a big human trafficking case. The guys involved were really nasty pieces of work. They were into trafficking people as slave labour, prostitution and also to be used as objects to torture because no one would miss them if they went missing, right? They were sick and cruel and there was one chance only to collect them up before they moved out of town to practice there depravity somewhere else. 

Starsky and Hutch went in backed up by a whole task squad of cops, all determined to arrest the occupants of the warehouse or get them to safety depending on whether they were the victims or the bad guys. Starsky led one group and Hutch the other. They didn’t like separating but it was unavoidable on this mission. 

Starsky woke up slowly, head banging and stomach swimming. He tried to rub his face and that’s when he realized he couldn’t move his arm. He tilted his head up and confirmed his fears. He was handcuffed to a headboard. He gradually realized they were probably his own cuffs. He was lying on a crummy mattress, in a scabby room with old wallpaper, peeling down the wall. A stale smell engulfed him. The only window was boarded up, only allowing enough light in to see part of the room and that would change when night fell. He deduced that he must be in an abandoned house, possibly one due for demolition, like the ones on the outskirts of town. How would anyone find him here? How did he get here? He remembered now, a hard hit to the back of his head. The warehouse, shit he was in the hands of some of the worst scum he’d ever met, who knew what they had in store for him. 

The door to the room opened and in came a greasy looking man. Slicked back hair and as he came to stand closer, Starsky realized his skin was either sweaty or maybe oily. The scar down his right cheek only added to the bad vibes. A knife slash, Starsky could tell. A life of violence. He wore jeans and a ratty jumper in dark grey. He either preferred to dress down or was a lackey, lower down in the organization. His lack of status didn’t comfort Starsky any. This man was used to getting his hands dirty.

‘I’m glad you’re awake Detective. Starsky isn’t it?’ The badge he pulled out was no surprise. Starsky wasn’t undercover after all so of course he was carrying it.

He told himself he wouldn’t respond to anything the man said.

‘I’m going to give you a choice in a moment Detective but first let’s talk about that lovely partner of yours.’

Starsky’s eyes flared. They couldn’t have Hutch too, they just couldn’t.

‘Oh, he’s perfectly safe for now but it’s up to you if he stays that way. He is awfully pretty, ain’t he? I’ll get a great price for him on the market. A lot of dirty old men would love to have a go on him. But of course I might have to break him in first. He is a lively one, ain’t he? Those lily white buttocks of his, I’d just love to-‘

‘Shut up, shut the fuck up. You touch him an I’ll kill you, cut off ya dick and feed it to ya!’

‘Big talk for a man tied to a bed.’ 

Starsky rattled his cuffs violently, the bed shook as he lunged off it trying to get to his tormentor. But the bed was bolted to the floor and didn’t budge. 

‘Like I said Detective you have a choice.’

‘What choice?’

‘Well I’m in a generous mood, so I’ll let you choose, you or your partner. Either he gets it or you do. And if you are impressive enough I might even let him go, dump him in town. What do you say?’

‘I say fuck off, there’s no way you’ll let him go, you’re fucking with me. And how do I know you’ve even got ‘im.’

The man went over and opened the door and then Starsky heard muffled voices. A second later a man screamed out.

The man came back over to Starsky. ‘That’s Mountain, he loves it rough, for now he’s just softening your partner up, few blows y’ know but he might get carried away and start the fun stuff without me.’ He winked at Starsky.

He shut his eyes tried to keep control. ‘I can tell you are torturing some poor bastard and I hate that but it still don’t mean it’s my partner.’

The man reached out and pulled something from his pocket. Before it was open Starsky knew what it was, he’d have known that worn leather anywhere. It was opened anyway, the proof, Hutch’s badge.

Starsky swallowed hard as more screams came from the other room.

‘Alright, alright stop it.’ 

The man went to the door and when he returned the screaming had stopped.

‘W-what…what do I have to do?’

‘Well I’ll want my go, then Mountain will want his. And then we’ll both have ya. But just to show I’m a man of my word we’ll both be in here the whole time, so you’ll know we aren’t touching your partner. Can’t say fairer than that. And who knows by the time we’re done with you your little friends might arrive to save the day. And your pal will stay clean.’

‘Go get him, I want to see my partner first.’

‘No can do. He’s a big boy and if we let him loose, he’d cause us some trouble. So what’s your answer Detective?’

Starsky couldn’t bare to say the words so he swallowed down the sick he felt rising and just nodded instead.

He heard the noises of course but he just didn’t care anymore. The bangs of gunfire faded and then the door to the room he’d been in for what could have been hours or days burst open. He managed to lift his head and then he was met by the unexpected. His partner stood there, gun in hand. He hastily put it away as he reached for Starsky. 

He couldn’t take it in so just said, ‘H-Hutch…h…how did ya get out?’ 

Hutch produced a key from nowhere like a magician and opened the lock to the handcuffs. He immediately started rubbing Starsky’s wrists.

‘Sorry buddy what did you say?’ Hutch asked.

‘I…I don’t understand, how did you get free they had you locked up too, didn’t they?’

‘No Starsk, no I was never locked up. Is that what they told you?’

‘You…you were in the next room.’

‘No I wasn’t. I just got here.’

‘B-but they showed me your badge.’

‘Yeah, lost that at the warehouse.’

‘So…so who was…I heard someone.’

‘Yeah, only caught a glance at the poor bastard but he’s beat up pretty bad I’d say but we’ll get him help.’

Starsky couldn’t understand, couldn’t take in that it hadn’t been Hutch, so instead he asked, ‘H-how l-long have I been here?’

‘Two hours, maybe, or a bit less. I got here as quick as I could but, um…I was knocked out at the scene, some guys were draggin’ me off but a Rookie came upon us and he shot at them and they dropped me. I…I wanted to get straight out there but Dobey insisted I get checked out, coz I was knocked out cold. But as soon as the paramedic cleared me, I got straight on it. Sorry I didn’t find you sooner buddy.’

That was Hutch always apologising for something. Not being faster, stronger, better. If he saved a house full of kids from a fire he’d still apologize to the parents for not getting the cat out too. Starsky would have smiled if he had anything other than misery left in him.

Hutch was busy trying to get Starsky’s pants back on, struggling with getting them over the feet made worse when Starsky suddenly jerked at realizing what he was doing.

‘Come on pal, help me get these back on. I know you don’t go nowhere without your pants.’ Hutch smiled.

But the last thing Starsky needed was a reminder of another desperate time and his face must have shown it.

‘Hey, sorry…how about we get these clothes on and then we can get you checked out before I take you home. Some of those bruises look pretty bad.’ Hutch gestured to Starsky's mid-section which had an array of red marks and the start of bruising.

‘No, no Hutch no hospitals, no I…I just can’t okay.’ Starsky said recoiling back from Hutch on the bed and pulling his knees up to his chest.

When Hutch had first entered the room he’d called out the all clear so the other cops would know he didn’t need help. He’d told them before they stormed the place that once he found his partner he wanted them left alone. He wasn’t sure what he’d find, the people they were dealing with were depraved. Finding Starsky tied to a bed in just his underwear had done nothing to sooth his fears and his reactions since only served to increase Hutch’s worrying. 

‘H-how did you find me? I…I wasn’t sure anyone would.’ Starsky asked face buried in his knees. 

‘One of the guys who tried to grab me, Danny, same guy who took my badge I think. Anyway, he asked a mutual friend of ours, Rob Green to get him a fake passport. Rob called me; thought I’d like to know. He’d heard of Danny knew he was involved in heavy stuff. Anyway, I got hold of Danny and persuaded him to give us the location.’

‘Just an ordinary day’s work then.’ Starsky said knowing there was more connecting the dots than that but too tired to go into it.

‘Yeah…um, so how about we get you dressed and then-‘ Hutch was cut off when Starsky grabbed his pants back from him. And then proceeded to put them on himself. Hutch retrieved Starsky’s shirt which was also on the floor and gave it to Starsky to put on when he was done with the pants.

‘But no hospital Hutch, it’s just a couple of bruises and I wanna go home.’

Hutch wanted to argue but didn’t want to agitate Starsky any further so deferred to his wishes. ‘Okay, Starsk, have it your way but if you feel worse you gotta tell me straight away, that’s the deal.’

‘Okay, pal, can we just get out of here now? This place stinks.’ 

Yes it does Hutch thought in more ways than one. They needed to talk but it would have to wait for better surroundings. 

Hutch sought out his reliable old friend for a much needed friendly and non-judgemental ear. It was late and The Pits was about to close but Hutch knew his friend would still be there and as he approached the bar, sure enough he was. 

‘Hey, Hug.’

‘Hey my man you look like you lost a dollar and found a dime.’

‘About sums it up Hug.’

Huggy put a beer down in front of Hutch and then came round the bar to sit on a stool next to his friend.

‘Sorry if I’m bugging you, pal.’

‘You ain’t, any excuse to put of the clean-up.’ 

Hutch smiled knowing Huggy had staff who mostly saw to that but he appreciated the sentiment. 

‘So go on bro, spill it.’

‘Bad scene yesterday Hug.’

‘Too many of those lately.’

‘I hear ya. But this one brought some things back.’

Huggy’s first thought was something drug related but by the expression on Hutch’s face it was something worse, so Starsky related then. 

‘There was this guy, big, brutal you know.’

Huggy nodded.

‘Starsky had gone after his partner and I was one on one with him. I was holding my own, doin’ okay too but then one big fist connected, and my head met with hard wall.’

‘Ouch.’

‘Yeah not kiddin’ concussion central. Anyway, I was dazed and the guy took advantage of that…he undid his pants and was goin’ after mine…’ Hutch stopped seemingly unable to go on.

‘It’s okay Hutch, you can say it…did he?’

‘No Hug, no shit nothin’ like that. But I guess he didn’t expect Starsky back. Thought he had all the time in the world for that. And in that part of town…’

‘Shook you up though?’

‘No well yeah but not because…well obviously because but it was more…’

‘I know it’s hard but take a breath before you keel over and get it out.’

‘Starsky came along like I said and he s-shot the guy. He just clipped him…but then he went at him with a strength I didn’t know he had and he was shoutin’. I was a bit out of it but it was somethin’ like; ‘Not my partner you don’t, not him…no one touches him.’ I didn’t think he’d stop in time; thought he’d kill the guy. I shouted for him but nothing. It wasn’t until I said. ‘I need you starsk I need your help,’ that he sorta stopped and came over to me.’ 

‘So the big lug loves ya is that so bad?’

‘No course not but it was more than that…he clammed up after like what he did was perfectly normal. Been givin’ me the silent treatment, well not totally, stayed with me coz a my head but not sayin’ anything real if you know what I mean. It was just like after that bad scene with those traffickers. I can’t help thinking there connected somehow. But he’s just shut down about it.’ 

‘You never really told me what went down with that.’

‘That’s because I don’t know myself.’ Hutch snapped at Huggy.

‘All right, chill bro, this ain’t one a your interrogations, just a friend askin’. I’m concerned is all, about both of you.’

Hutch sighed. ‘I’m sorry Hug, I’m just frustrated and scared, it like he’s…closed off. He hasn’t shut me out like this since Marcus and I’m terrified. I’m pretty sure he left some details out that time too. And with the way I found him-‘ Hutch cut himself off and looked sharply up at Huggy like he’d let something slip he shouldn’t have.

‘Don’t sweat it my man, I keep my confidences, you dig. Curly won’t hear anything from me. And the way I see it we’re two concerned friends. When have you eva known the bear not to have your back?’

Hutch smiled and nodded.

‘Take my advice and go talk to him, and this time if he tries to shut you out, don’t take no for an answer.’

Hutch acted on Huggy’s advice quickly, downed his beer and went straight round to Starsky’s. Letting himself in when Starsky didn’t answer.

Finding Starsky lounging on his sofa Hutch said, ‘We need to talk.’

‘Uh-oh, you breakin’ up with me blondie?’

‘No I don’t give up that easy, Gordo. But if you don’t talk to me, be straight I might consider it.’ Hutch said taking a seat next to his friend.

Starsky shifted uncomfortably but said nothing. 

‘What was that about yesterday?’

‘What?’

‘Come on Stasrk, you went over the top with that guy, wailing on him the way you did. You’d already clipped him.’

‘So what I’m supposed to stand back while…while some sick bastard tries to…he had his hands on you, opening your…shit Hutch you know what he was about to do to you?’

‘I have a fair idea yeah and I’m no happier about it than you are, trust me. Might have thumped him myself if I was compos mentis enough to do it.’

‘Exactly, so I jus’ did it for ya. What’s the big deal?’

‘The big deal is I’m worried how far you’d have gone if I hadn’t called you off. The big deal is I’ve got the feeling there’s more to all this.’

‘A feelin’ huh? Who are you Collandra?’

‘When it comes to you yeah, I got a sixth sense. And I can tell when somethings up. So why don’t you tell me what it is?’

‘You don’t want to know and I don’t want to talk about it, so just leave off, will ya?’

‘I know it has something to do with that Razor and his sidekick…m…yeah m something.’

‘Mountain.’ Starsky never wanted to hear those names again but couldn’t forget them either.

‘Yeah, big bastard.’

Got that right Starsky thought, especially the bastard bit.

‘I know you don’t want to talk about this…but it wasn’t just a workin’ over was it, there was more to it than that? We haven’t talked about it. You didn’t want to and I didn’t push it but I don’t think there’s any avoiding it anymore. You haven’t been right since and I need to understand the reasons for that.’

‘I don’t push when you don’t want to talk, leave it for me, huh.’

‘No can do buddy, when it’s important you never let me disappear into myself and I can’t let you either.’ 

‘Some things you have to deal with yourself.’

‘Yeah, well what good’s keepin’ stuff from each other ever done us Buddy. You’ve withdrawn like a wounded animal before when you’ve been hurtin’ and it hasn’t helped, not in the long run.’

Starsky sighed, ‘You’re not gonna let this go are ya?’

‘No.’

‘Fine but don’t blame me if you hear some things you don’t wanna.’

‘Okay.’

‘I went a bit far okay, that thing yesterday was hard, yeah. I…I thought he was…and if I’d let him do…d-do that to ya…’ Starsky stopped and swallowed hard.

‘Go on buddy, please.’

‘If I’d let him do that to you Hutch, it’d all’ve been for nothin.’’

‘What would have Starsk, I don’t understand?’

‘We were tryna get things back on track with us, and it was workin’ too. We were talkin’ more, connecting better, more of a solid team and hanging out as pals. It was great, I hadn’t realized how much I missed it, ya know?’

‘Yeah, but I still don’t-‘

Starsky cut him off in his own world and needing to get it out before he changed his mind.

‘I’d’ve done anything to prove I was still the best partner and protect ya, like we always do. And instead you did it again.’

‘What?’

‘You came for me, rescued me. And me, what did I do? I couldn’t do anythin’ to save you…you were tied up in the next room, with them threatenin’ all sorts. Least that’s what I thought. An…I… all I could do…was delay it at best…but I…I had-a try.’

‘What…what did you do?’ Hutch’s voice faltered unsure he wanted to really know.

‘That’s why I don’t wanna tell ya…that look on your face now. Shit Hutch…I can’t…’

‘I need to hear it and I…I think you need someone to listen…to know, so please pal, say it. Get it out, so maybe I can help.’

‘You can’t…I don’t want you to know…to think that…’

‘The only thing I know is what a brave guy my partner is.’

‘Brave? Brave? What kind of brave guy lets other guys…lets ‘em touch him and…and…’

‘And what Babe?’

Starsky had got up to pace but then slumped down to the carpet, barely able to keep upright. ‘Please Hutch, please don’t make me say it. You got there before the r-really b-b-bad stuff happened.’

Hutch got off the sofa and knelt next to Starsky, gently taking him into his arms.

‘Shhh, buddy it’s okay, I got ya, you’re safe with me, I’m here. It’ll be okay.’ Hutch knew they were meaningless words, couldn’t take the pain away. He hoped they brought a little comfort. But he knew after having drugs forcefully injected into him that nothin’ could rid you of that helpless feeling. The feeling that you should have fought harder to defend yourself. That sense of abuse and your body not being yours anymore. Nothing he said could rid Starsky of that. He just hoped he could help him find his way back to himself the same way Starsky had helped him after Forest. He was determined to do all he could to help his friend.

‘You…you must be disgusted with me, huh?’ Starsky said quietly in between sniffs.

‘No, sweet boy, never. You’re beautiful.’

‘Even after I let ‘em…after how pathetic…’

‘You…you told me all you could do was delay them, right? They were threatening to hurt me right, do somethin’ to me like the big guy, yesterday, yeah?’

Starsky nodded against Hutch’s chest.

‘So how could I ever think you were pathetic, huh? You did everything in your power to save me…you were brave enough to make that sacrifice for me. That means a hell of a lot to me Starsk.’

‘I…I couldn’t lose you Hutch…and I couldn’t let ‘em hurt ya. Wouldn’t let ‘em touch you, no one should touch ya, ‘cept maybe… me.’

‘You…you mean you have…those kinds of feelin’s for me, um…romantic ones, I mean?’

Starsky sniffed, ‘Yeah, that kind.’

‘Oh, okay, I…um, our timing kinda sucks but I…I’ve been thinking that my feelin’s might have changed for you too, well not changed but maybe evolved. I’ve always loved you buddy, but I guess now it is that sort of love for me too.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, for a little while…I wanted it to be just us, me and you. No women and er, especially… no Meredith. I didn’t want her to take my place, I’m your partner no one else.’ 

‘That was stupid of me I was so scared of losin’ ya and of how the thought of it made me realize how I felt for you, too. I freaked out and tried to direct my feelin’s at her instead.’

‘So uh, what do we do now?’

‘Help me up will ya?’ Hutch helped Starsky up and they settled back to the sofa.

‘I…I think I’d like it if we a kissed maybe…just that, just a kiss.’

Hutch leaned in and Starsky met him and they shared a passionate but also gentle kiss, a touch of lips, more deep affection than lust. 

They pulled away slightly and Hutch said, ‘We’ll take this real slow, okay? It’s new to us both and we have some other things to discuss too.’

Starsky made a face.

‘I know you don’t want to but it’s important to be honest with each other. You don’t have to go into too many details but I need to know…some things, if it was…well how much they hurt you and where your head’s at. I don’t want to screw this up.’

‘It takes two to screw it up, like it takes two to make it work. We’ve been makin’ it work for years, bumps in the road aside, and we won’t stop that now. Don’t worry so much huh?’

‘Okay, love I’ll try my best.’

‘That’s always been more than enough for me buddy.’

It was after hours at The Pits and Starsky was settled in with a drink and Huggy was leaning towards him from behind the bar, trying to coax some honesty out of his friend.

‘So you and Hutch, huh?’ Huggy said when neither of them had spoken for several minutes.

‘Yeah, me and Hutch.’

‘How’s it goin’?’

‘Good.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yes, why?’

‘He’s still worried about you, I can tell.’

‘He said something?’

‘No,’ Huggy said raising his eyebrows, ‘but I know you guys.’

‘I’m doin’ okay.’

‘Okay, I’d say if you ever need to talk but if you’re not talkin’ to Blondie, there’s no chance for me.’

‘I don’t need to talk.’

‘Whatever you say, but he’d be okay with it, he’d handle it.’

‘I know that, maybe it’s more about me than him. I don’t want…I don’t like the thought of ‘im thinkin’ of me like…’

‘He’s no innocent, you know, things he’s been through. We’ve both seen him in a bad way.’

‘Don’t you think I know that? But he didn’t tell me all Forest and those goons did to him. I know they tortured him with …that needle, and that’s all I need to know. Some things you handle alone.’ 

‘If anything like that…he couldn’t of hidden it, we were so up close and personal.’

‘I know but he still didn’t go into all the details, wouldn’t hurt me like that. I understand, we don’t need to talk about everythin’.’

‘Just know he’s there for you and so am I.’

‘He saved me, got me out, that’s enough. He did it with Marcus’s goons, with Razor and Mountain, and before that he came for me right out of the hospital. You know how near that bullet was to his heart? When I got shot Hug, All I had to do was lie on my back while Hutch fussed over me fluffin’ pillows. He saved me then too, a whole restaurant full a people to protect and he kept me goin’ and saved the lot of us. But when he was shot, he got up, released himself from the hospital when he’d only just had surgery and came to play the hero, rescuing me again. He didn’t think about himself or the pain and I could barely get out of bed after I was shot, nearly passed out first time I tried. He didn’t let any of that stop him. And how did I repay him? I bedded my new partner and neglected him. Some thank you, huh? And why’d I do it because….’

‘Because?’

‘I’d already started to fall for him and the intensity of those feelin’s were…’

‘A lot huh?’

‘Yeah.’

‘So you’re feelin’ bad coz you took him for granted? But you are both there for each other. You’ve been there for him too. You can lean on him, I know him too. He’s not keepin’ score, he loves you, all he wants to do is help you.’

‘Hey I’m not new to this, I been around. Nam, the stuff with Marcus. I cope with it in my own way, ya know? I don’t need to talk. I’m not like Hutch, I’m not a big thinker. I don’t dwell on things.’

‘Yeah sure but the important things are hard to talk about that’s why talkin’ is so important. And if he needed to talk you’d want him to, right?’

‘Sure if that’s what he needed but I’d leave it up to him.’

‘Course you would, well if you change your mind.’

‘Me and Hutch have each other, it’s all we need, hug.’

‘If you say so but…’

‘What?’

‘Well won’t secrets get in the way of your um…physical relationship?’

‘We’ve agreed to take it slow, not go the whole…well you get what I’m sayin’. And we’re both new to this, never been with guys before, just women and we don’t wanna rush. If what we do now is all we…we’re good with it.’

‘And it hasn’t been strange, brought up things, been hard for…you know.’

‘No Hug, coz it’s nothin’ like the same. It’s Hutch, you know? He’s big and tough but as you know he’s gentle, tender, lovin’.’ 

‘Yeah, you’ve got a good one there.’

‘That I have.’

‘And don’t forget it…and speaking of…we have to stop meeting like this.’ Huggy said as he directed his attention over Starsky’s shoulder.

‘I know I’m becoming an after hours regular. For your charming company mostly Hug. But tonight I was actually searchin’ for this one.’

‘You found me, so what ya wanna do with me ya big lug.’

‘How about buy you a drink.? Hug?’

‘Two drinks commin’ up, go take a seat I’ll bring ‘em over in a minute.’ Huggy said with a wink for Starsky.

Hutch and Starsky took a seat over by the wall for some privacy. They got comfy but Starsky couldn’t quite look Hutch in the face as he said; ‘I think I need to tell you some things.’

‘You can tell me anything you know that, it’s when we stop communicating that the problems start.’

‘Okay…’

Hutch waited patiently and gave Starsky a smile of encouragement.

Huggy watched his friends and as they talked for a few minutes or Starsky talked and Hutch just seemed to be listening. Then Hutch put his hand on Starsky’s hand the one he had resting on the table. Starsky almost instantly pulled Hutch in for a hug. Huggy smiled thinking his friends would be alright. Starsky was right they had each other and like the good friend he was he’d be there too but for now he decided the drinks could wait a bit longer.


End file.
